BUT WHAT ABOUT MY UGLY PERSONALITY?!! <3
One concern a lot of my social anxiety clients have is that even if they do overcome their social anxiety... no one will like them anyway due to their ugly personality.
When in reality, their personalities aren't ugly at all... and here is why:
Social anxiety is a Shame problem.
In addition to causing social anxiety, Shame causes many other potentially 'ugly' traits, such as...
2. Resentment
3. Anger
4. Feelings of superiority
5. Feelings of inferiority
6. Depression
7. Indifference
8. Jealousy
9. Arrogance
10. Addictions
11. Self-Harm
12. Aggression
13. Performing for others
14. Competing with others
15. Bragging
16. and many more...
NONE of these secondary symptoms of shame have anything to do with your personality at all!
By freeing yourself from the Shame that causes social anxiety... you will also free yourself from these other secondary traits! :)
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So, then you might be thinking... Well then WHAT IS MY PERSONALITY... if it is not these ugly traits?
We all have many sides to our personalities...
For example...
- Our nice side
- Our analytical side
- Our focused side
- Our confident side
- Our sexual side
- Our funny side
- Our passionate side
- Our loving side
- Our nerdy side
- Our spontaneous side
- Our artistic side
- Our creative side
- Our daring side
- etc.
Your personality is all of this!
But, what is NOT your personality are the ugly secondary symptoms of shame. <3
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Do you know what makes us the most attractive?
It is when we feel no shame... and we are being our honest, authentic selves.
In other words... it is when we forget to perform or protect ourselves... and we are just being present with the other person in the moment... THIS is when we are most attractive.
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So yeah... You don't have an ugly personality at all...
Whatever you might have considered ugly about your personality... was probably just a manifestation of shame.
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Let me know if you'd like me to help you overcome your shame & social anxiety... and have the connections you desire. <3
To your beautiful self...
Marni Penner
A Kanadai Coach :)
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