HOW THE "BATHROOM BREAK" HELPED ME OVERCOME MY SOCIAL ANXIETY <3
My solution to Social Anxiety was "Honesty, Love, and Acceptance". However, really should rename it:
"Honesty, Love, Acceptance & THE BATHROOM BREAK" 😆
And this is why...
My solution to social anxiety was learning to alternate between Honesty, Love, and Acceptance...
Here is how it worked with close friends...
1. LOVE
I met up with my friend and told myself "LOVE HER". This prevented me from going into fear. <3
2. HONESTY
Whenever I had a feeling or thought that was getting in the way, I would tell myself "BE HONEST"... and I said whatever was on my mind... which reduced my anxiety and shame.
3. ACCEPTANCE
Whenever my anxiety symptoms came back for a visit, I would tell myself, "ACCEPT THEM" and I would focus on Love & Honesty instead.
HOWEVER... Sometimes, my anxious thoughts and symptoms stayed and stayed and stayed... and no amount of Love, Honesty, or Acceptance could get those f*ckers to go away!!
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So, THAT is when I implemented the BATHROOM BREAK.
I would find some way to tear myself away from the situation (which was difficult because I was a people-pleaser)... and go to the bathroom.
I would sit on the toilet seat... whether or not I actually had to go... and I asked myself...
"What are you REALLY feeling?"
"What is REALLY going on?"
And within 2 minutes, my INTERNAL HONESTY would come through. I would realize...
- "I am tired and I've had a bad day."
- "I am ashamed about what happened in the store earlier today."
- "I am sad that this friend didn't invite me to her event last week."
So, although THIS had been my ACTUAL emotional state, I had not been acknowledging it.
I had been putting on a cheerful demeanor and trying to have a fun time...
I had NOT been applying the principle of HONESTY at all!!
So, I would go back to my friend, and I would say...
- "I'm really tired, and I have been having a really bad day."
- "I feel so ashamed about what happened at the store earlier today."
- "I'm think I'm kind of sad that I didn't get invited to your event last week... I don't want be sad... but I think I am..."
.
Now the emotion I had on the outside represented the emotion I felt on the inside, which simplified my heart and head... We got into an amazing conversation... we connected on a deeper level... and I felt NO MORE ANXIETY AT ALL. <3
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Sometimes it is difficult to access our honesty inside the social situation because our brain is so occupied with the conversation.
This is why the bathroom break is so powerful!
We take a break from our "fake, anxious, people-pleasing, striving" performance... and we access our honest self. <3
And we can then re-enter the social situation... and be more honest with others and with ourselves.
I hope you found this helpful. :)
Let me know if you'd like me to help you overcome your social anxiety or any anxiety... using this extremely powerful approach.
To your awesomeness...
Marni Penner
A Kanadai Coach :)
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